The Butterfly of Carnage
by michiyorain
Summary: Takasugi stumbles into a fragment of his past he thought he had lost forever. Gintoki is faced with the possibility of fulfilling an old promise. Kamui's meddling plans backfire on him emotionally. Bansai discovers the deal between all of them and how it revolves around Yoshiwara's new top courtesan.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.**

* * *

As Abuto stared blankly at the rowdy men inside the room, more than half of them already drunk as hell, his mind tried to process how this event came about. It had been a week since him and his idiot of a captain had come to Earth an formed an unholy alliance with the Kiheitai.

He cocked his head to the side as an empty bottle came zooming at him from somewhere across the room. His eyes tried to discern the culprit among the men who were now openly brawling at the center of the room. A few Yato clansmen and some really, really brave or insane humans. Seriously, fighting a Yato in a drunken frenzy? The human fellows were either completely drunk or have a death wish.

Abuto likes drinking in peace, like while watching the moon, or stars, when he's in space and having calming music is an added bonus. And with him living a greater portion of his life with pirates, he really preferred to drink alone. He tossed back his drink and the courtesan beside him eagerly poured him another one. He looked at her and thought that he wouldn't mind sharing his bed with her later in the evening.

Gunshots echoed and Abuto could already guess that the lone woman in the room who wasn't a prostitute had had enough with all the jeers at her skimpy outfit. Abuto worried about the holes she's boring in the ceiling and floors. He'd have those covered up later. Yoshiwara is still a business. There was a crash and he made a mental note to replace the windows, too. The idiot captain should really learn how to take care of his property by himself.

Speaking of the devil, he was at the head of the room still locked in a silent battle of endurance with the leader of the Kiheitai, Takasugi Shinsuke. Abuto looked at the bottles littering the floor around the two. How many of those were Kamui's? He's still smiling innocently, as per normal, so maybe not that much. But there's around thirty bottles in there, and Takasugi looks as composed as ever. And they were talking, like were waiting for the other to slur.

Abuto wondered if he could consider that as Kamui's way of making friends with the guy. He wondered if he'd get killed for that thought. He just shrugged and decided to have a couple more drinks before enjoying the courtesan in his room in peace.

* * *

Takasugi has no worries about the amount of alcohol he had taken and it seems that Kamui can hold his own. The brat was clearly trying to upstage him, how childish, but Takasugi won't let him win that easily that easily. And they were nowhere near finished.

"There's really not much to do here. The food is the best, though."

Takasugi reminded himself never to let the guy stay for prolonged periods of time on his ship. The guy was worse than the plague.

"I'm sure you'd find something to do. It wasn't called a Shangri-la just for the simple pleasures it offered." He said. He knew how powerful Yoshiwara really was. And it's worth being associated with the younger man beside him.

"My men are quite glad to stay here after a drought of women when we were in space. But the pleasures women offer holds no interest for me. I have my own master as a reference."

Takasugi sipped his drink. So the kid isn't as stupid as he made him out to be. He's so simple-minded that Takasugi believed he could control the guy in no time. If he could harness Kamui's power, he could effectively destroy everything he wanted. But he'd make sure, he'll be the one to kill that man with the silver perm.

"Ah!" Kamui suddenly perked up, "There is one! I met her a few days ago. Aside from that woman with the scar, there's another one. She's quite a sight when she fights."

"She must be if she managed to catch your attention," Takasugi said. But he must have killed her already because clearly, Kamui would have tried himself against the woman if she even came off to him as someone who can put up a fight.

"Yeah. But Abuto refused to let me fight her. Said she's too much of a waste dead. She's worth a king's ransom, you know."

Now Takasugi was curious. He was talking about a mere courtesan?

"I did tell her there's someone I want her to meet. Mind showing us a bit more of your skills, Samurai-san?" Kamui's eyes glinted mischievously. Takasugi suddenly had an idea as to why the other man was trying to get him to drink. Did he think Takasugi would let himself be defeated by a woman?

"I won't be accountable for the damage," he agreed.

Kamui nodded and glanced at the wall clock, "She should be arriving any minute now."

As if on cue, the front doors opened and in came a small procession of courtesans. Kamui's men immediately broke up their fights and scrambled back to their seats, trying to make themselves look presentable while the humans just followed suit and wondered what's going on.

When the last person, whose face was covered with a veil, entered, the women in front of her moved out of the way and let her walk to the front, before they all bowed down on their knees while the veiled woman simply lowered her head before Kamui.

Kamui waved at the new arrivals, "Yo! I thought you wouldn't come."

The ladies stood up and slowly backed out of the room. The other prostitutes in the room seemed to be in awe of the veiled woman.

"There were some pressing matters that needed my immediate attention. Forgive my tardiness, Lord of the Night." She answered softly.

By now, the room was buzzing with hushed conversations. The humans were asking their Yato acquaintances who the woman was and the answers were met with whistles and sounds of awe.

Kamui leaned close to Takasugi, "If you win, I'd let you do whatever you want with her, take it as a partial payment of my debt."

"Oi, stupid captain, what do you think you're doing?" Abuto piped up from his seat. He should protect his captain's assets and this one was one hell of an asset to lose.

"Just having a little fun. Aren't you bored out of your mind too?" Kamui smiled at his subordinate.

Abuto scratched his head and sighed, not wanting to admit that he's also itching for something like this to happen. He himself lost to her yesterday when he tried to fight her. The lady had a lot more spunk than she let on. Abuto hopped Takasugi isn't too buzzed to kill the woman, though.

"I'll be fine, Abuto-sama." The woman said.

"The lady said she'll be fine, Abuto. Don't worry." Kamui stood up and Takasugi followed suit, "Then I'd like you to meet Yoshiwara's finest courtesan."

The woman slowly lifted off her veil and looked straight at the guest. Her gasp of surprise was swallowed by the cat calls, wolf whistles and appreciative sounds that erupted when everyone saw her face. Nor did they notice Takasugi take a half-step back and his eyes widen in surprise for a moment before they returned to their normal piercing stare. He was no longer smiling.

But their reactions were not lost to Kamui, who raised an eyebrow, "Oya, do you know each other?"

The woman fell out of her stupor, "I…I…My name is Miwa."

"Or perhaps not? You do have wanted posters everywhere."

Takasugi was not paying attention to him. His gaze was fixed on the woman still staring at him but not with the initial surprise he saw on her face but, he thought, with the same look he probably had on his face. There was nothing there to give him a hint of what's going through her head.

Her hair was longer than he dared to remember, cascading beautifully along her back in straight golden threads. She used to flaunt its straightness at her brother, who has a perm. She did not wear her hair in a tight up-do like the other courtesans, but just adorned it with a jeweled comb he was equally surprised she still had in her possession. He had thought it was lost to the ages, just like she was. The clothes she wore made her look like a princess, just like she had secretly dreamed about when she was younger.

Her eyes.

Her lips.

Exactly the way she looked like in the memories he thought he had locked away forever at the back of his mind. They were now re-emerging unbidden, the memories he thought he had destroyed before he walked down this path.

She, on the other hand, wasn't shocked by his appearance. She knew how he looked like after all these years. She had his wanted poster framed in her private room after all. Miwa silently cursed Kamui but she knew it was her fault. She never really gave a damn about names, especially of men who comes down to Yoshiwara for her. She knew better than to get attached to them. She had seen too many women ruin themselves for men who give them even a sliver of hope for a life outside this hell-hole. It's better not knowing anything about such men.

But damn, she should have known better than to blindly obey Kamui. She shouldn't have let Takasugi see her this way. What she had to stoop to in order to survive. In order to be able to wait, and wait and wait.

"Shinsuke-sama will wipe the floor with your face, bitch!" Makoto called over the din of noise.

Her two companions, however, also saw Takasugi's initial reaction upon seeing the woman and thought better than to say anything at the moment. Whatever's about to happen will be a first for them. They could already guess that the woman and Takasugi had a past, but what exactly? He seemed to hate anything concerning his past, like his two Ex-Joui comrades they had plenty of run-ins with.

Kamui observed the two samurai at hand. He wanted to fight them both but they were both quite valuable to certain groups of people. He's not really afraid to incur these people's wrath and he'd gladly welcome more fights but even he knows he had to control his urges. He's Yato. It's easy to get what he wants anytime so if wouldn't matter if he'd had to wait for a few years. Kamui turned back to Miwa. She was beautiful alright. And despite looking so damn fragile and vulnerable right now, he knew she's hiding some strength within her body like he saw when some of his men tried to barge into her room yesterday. The first time he saw her, she was soaked in blood, with a feral look in her eyes. That was when his men knew better than to toy with prostitutes. Miwa reminded him so much of Takasugi, he was itching to see who would win if the two ever fought.

"Why don't you start?" Kamui asked, taking a seat.

A courtesan stood up from among the sidelines and helped Miwa shrug off her outer garments revealing an outfit much like the women of the Hyakka wore. Another courtesan tied her hair into a neat bun for her. At her side, a sword was sheathed. Takasugi wasn't surprised to see the sword at her side, he knew it could never be separated from her.

He picked up his own sword and stepped towards her until there was just five feet between them.

"There's no time limit. We fight until one of us surrenders. Just drop the sword if you want to give up." Miwa automatically laid out her rules. 'This isn't a customer I'm talking to, this is Shinsuke, for God's sake, calm down, Miwa, don't embarrass yourself. Oh sheesh…' she suddenly thought her outfit was too skimpy. 'Why the hell am I wearing fishnet stockings tonight? I look like a goddamed prostitute! Oh wait, I am one.' She blamed herself for getting Tsukuyo choose her casual clothes. She suddenly regretted not giving enough care about her clothes before.

Takasugi smirked when her cheeks reddened. She had always been a creature of habit and he knows she can't help it, that's why she embarrasses easily when she catches herself doing something again and again unconsciously. She never changed. And he remembered something Bansai said about Gintoki.

"_Right now and back then, the only thing I've been fighting to protect hasn't changed one bit!"_

"You never change, like your stupid brother." He said.

She barely had time to react to his statement before the glint of his drawn sword swinging towards her head entered her vision. She jumped back and all other thoughts flew out of her mind except for the fighting instincts and the desperation, always the desperation. She must win.

And Kamui watched transfixed as she transformed from a fragile lady to a dangerous killer, her eyes losing their innocent gleam in exchange for a sharp look that seemed like nothing can escape her gaze. He thought she was more beautiful this way.

Nobody in the room moved as the two clashed, their frenzied movements felt like they were dealing death blows with every swing. The men who hadn't seen her fight before had their libidos crushed instantly. They quickly realized that she'd sooner chop their balls off than even think about pouring them a drink.

For the first few minutes they thought it was an even fight but a few moments later it seemed like Takasugi was beginning to own her. Then she started swinging more violently with such force that Takasugi was forced to defend and move back.

Miwa panted, tired out not because of fighting physically but from the mental battle she was fighting with herself. She wanted to stop fighting but her instincts were making her body move on its own, in a stern refusal to lose. After years of playing with high stakes, her body was driving her to leave no chance of her opponent winning.

'_But this is Shinsuke…this is Shinsuke!'_

With a shaking hand, she dropped her sword just as he was bringing down his own at her. The blade stopped an inch before cutting through her left shoulder. He raised an eyebrow.

The room was silent. Kamui pouted, '_Ah. She threw it.'_

And then, tears fell down her cheeks as she stood there staring at Takasugi.

Takasugi watched the tears travel down her face. He sheathed his sword and went back to his seat, tossing back a cup of sake as he sat down. She was still standing there, silent, casting off a pitiful figure like a kicked puppy. He had seen her cry…made her cry so many times he can't even count. He clenched his fists and pretended to ignore her. She's no longer any concern of his.

"And you were almost at the good part," Kamui piped beside him, "But a win is a win. She's yours."

"Not interested. I'm leaving." After another swig of sake, he stood up and walked out of the room, passing her without sparing her another glance. She was still crying silently.

The Kiheitai members piled out of the room after their leader. Miwa wiped her tears with her sleeves. Some prostitutes walked over to comfort her.

"Nothing's going to change if you just stand there and wait," Kamui said out of the blue. He seemed surprised such words came from his mouth so he just kept his gaze away from her.

Then suddenly, as if light had dawned on her features, Miwa ran out of the room.

Abuto looked after her then at Kamui who was pretending to be asleep on the floor. "Oi, what was that about?"

"Nothing," Kamui answered, yet his mind was contemplating why he told her so. But all that came to mind was the memory of a gentle voice and an equally gentle pat on his head.

Outside the room, Miwa pushed herself to the front of the small crowd of Kiheitai people until she reached Takasugi and his officers. The woman admonished her instantly.

"What are you chasing us for, you lowly-," her mouth was instantly covered by Bansai, who pulled her away from the two.

"Shinsuke…Shinsuke…" she found that she doesn't know what to say. She has a ton of things to say she doesn't know where to start. After waiting for her to say something and she still didn't, Takasugi turned around and continued on his way.

"Do what you want, it's your life."

She watched his back as he walked away from her. His small group followed closely after him.

Matako escaped from Bansai's grasp, glared at her then went to walk beside Takasugi.

Bansai and Henpeita observed her as she looked sadly at their leader's back.

"That must mean you want to follow him, I daresay." Bansai said.

Miwa nodded.

Bansai and Henpeita shrugged and decided they could just kill her if she poses a threat. They were both curious about her relationship with Takasugi. Besides, having the greatest courtesan of Yoshiwara can prove to be beneficial if they use her right.

* * *

Miwa was given a small room inside the Kiheitai's ship. It was bare except for a small dresser and a table. A futon was folded at a corner and a bathroom and toilet was shared with the next room which she figured was Matako's seeing the scented soaps and shampoos in the bathroom cabinet. It suddenly had a lock on her second day there.

Miwa thought about Matako. She doesn't seem to be romantically involved with Shinsuke, though it's obvious she's open to the idea. Matako hates Miwa more than anything on the ship, that much she knows. She can't remember how many times the girl had come into her room and tried to kill her or just came to throw insults. She seemed to be more fired up when Miwa just stares blankly at her.

And in the past three weeks, Matako wasn't the only one who frequented her room. There were also plenty of men. Men who should have known better than to try and grab her. They were sent flying out her door with broken limbs. She made it a point not to kill them. They were, after all, Takasugi's subordinates. And with the rate they're going, she would have wiped out half his men already if she was serious.

That was another reason she barely touched any food not brought to her by Bansai or Henpeita. But both of them hadn't been to her room in a day and a half now. She's hungry and a little bit thirsty. And she wasn't about to start wandering outside her room, she's already dubious enough as it is.

She had not seen any sign of Takasugi at all. She wasn't even sure of he was on the ship. She wondered about what he was doing. Did you go to kill again?

She fell asleep on the tatami from hunger and fatigue.

She woke up the next day because of a light rapping at her door. She straightened herself and beckoned the visitor to enter. The door slid open to reveal Bansai with a breakfast tray. Her stomach growled at the sight of the food.

"I was told that you haven't eaten anything for two days and you haven't left the room at all." He placed the tray in front of her and sat down.

"When they stop coming here with erections, I'll consider eating what they bring me." She answered, "Thank you for the food," and she gobbled it up happily.

Bansai sighed. Some men really needed to be taught tougher lessons. "I'll show you the way to the kitchen when you're done so you won't have to starve yourself waiting for me," he said.

"I'd appreciate that," she finished the bowl of rice. She had always been a fast eater, "Where have you been?"

"We were in space for a firearms deal with the Kaientai." Bansai answered as he stood up and picked up the tray to return to the kitchen. Miwa followed him into the hall. It was the first time she walked out of her room since she entered the ship. It's not the first time she'd stayed in a room for prolonged periods of time. She remembered her younger days when Hosen ruled Yoshiwara. He locked her up quite a lot.

As they toured the ship, Bansai pointed out places like his room, Shinsuke's room-which she memorized, the mess hall, laundry area, training room and finally, the kitchen.

There were three men running the kitchen and they were all family. The oldest man was the grandfather while the two younger were his grandsons.

"My son was executed for being Joui patriots. I want to see change, that's why I help in the way I can. The people here are like my family." The old man said. He was well-mannered and gentle. Miwa doesn't know what to make of his willingness to be involved with terrorists.

"You make all the food for the people in this ship everyday?" Miwa asked.

"There's really not that many that had to eat here. Most of them have homes to go back to and only come up here occasionally."

"I see. Can I help? I like cooking."

The old man raised an eyebrow at her and then turned to Bansai who just nodded. The old man smiled, "Then I'd appreciate the beautiful help. Welcome to the kitchen family." He and his grandsons bowed at Miwa. She bowed in return.

"Thank you. Please guide me accordingly."

When they left the kitchen, she was ecstatic. Maybe she can use the pretense of serving him food in order to catch a glimpse of Shinsuke? She was so looking forward to making him dinner. She wasn't trained to be a first-rate courtesan just for show.

"You seem to be in high spirits, if I may say so. Do you like cooking that much?" Bansai asked.

"Yes, I do. But that's not the only reason." She grinned, "Hey, are you going out today?"

"I have a meeting at the recording company before lunch. As you know, my day job is to produce music."

She eyed the instrument strapped to his back, "Can I go out with you? I have a few errands I want to do." She pleaded with him. Her personal necessities were running out and she doubted Matako would ever share. She sometimes locks her out of the bathroom too and Miwa had to learn how to pick a lock.

"I can. Where do you want to go?"

"Supermarket." And then she got to thinking, "Ramen house…pizza parlor…family restaurant…ice cream parlor…" she count  
d on her fingers, "I haven't tried that frozen yogurt too…and I'd like to sit in a park bench." She finished with an excited gleam in her eyes.

Bansai raised an eyebrow, "Have you ever been to the surface before you came here?"

Miwa shook her head like a child.

Bansai smiled and patted her head, "I don't know if you have enough time for all of that today, but you don't have to hurry, I'll just take you again next time."

"Really?! Then the amusement park too! Oh, and the cinema! Is ********* still playing right now? I want to watch that one!" she said giddily.

Bansai thought he must have misheard her. Did she really just say what he thinks she said? "I…I doubt the theaters here have that. Sorry to step on your parade."

"Eh? Then how about ********? And *********? My favorite movie is ***********!" she said in a voice so innocent, Bansai felt his mind crack.

He laughed nervously, "Thor 2 is playing right now. Everybody likes that. Why don't we watch that?"

Miwa's eyes sparkled. "Ooh? Is *********** in there? She's my favorite actress!"

_She's definitely not in there_. "Ice cream sounds good right now. Why don't we head there first?" his head was throbbing. The woman was a Yoshiwaran through and through.

"I'll go grab my money real quick. Wait for me at the deck." With that, she turned and ran back to her room where she just grabbed the purse on the small table.

She was running back to Bansai when she saw Takasugi walking towards her. She stopped and opened her mouth to say something, maybe a greeting or a dinner invitation. But before she could even find the right words, he had passed her, pipe in mouth, like she wasn't there at all. He didn't even bother sparing her a glance. She closed her lips tightly as she watched his back disappear at a corner. She didn't how long she stood there after he's gone until Bansai called out to her to hurry up.

* * *

She enjoyed the afternoon tremendously. While Bansai was at the meeting, Miwa got her things at the supermarket. They arranged to meet for lunch in the family restaurant across Bansai's office building. After that, he took her to the ice cream parlor and then they sat at a park bench all afternoon, pranking random passersby and Bansai teaching Miwa how to ride a bicycle.

It was Bansai who was exhausted by the time they made it back to the ship before sunset. She was still full of energy, a little worn and scratched, but extremely happy.

"Can you teach me rollerblading next time?" she giggled excitedly.

Bansai groaned. Taking the woman out was like taking a new puppy for a walk. She tended to follow weird things, ogle at random people, and eat anything remotely edible (Bansai had a harder time wresting such things from her hands). When he was teaching her to ride a bicycle (she actually insisted on the unicycle first), she 'accidentally' steered into a steep hill and he chased after her in a panic. The bicycle threw her off when it hit the pavement at the bottom of the hill. She was laughing heartily when he pulled her out of the bushes.

"Wow! Again! Again!" she had exclaimed but found the bike was broken beyond repair. The man at the rentals screamed at them for a good ten minutes. Bansai was still paying for the damages when she started rattling about rollerblades.

The self-proclaimed feminist-not-pedophile greeted them at the entranceway, "I'm glad to see the lady happy, but may I inquire why you are coming home in such a state?" he threw Bansai his normal creepy blank look, his jaw set.

"I got thrown off a bicycle earlier into some thorny bushes," Miwa explained.

"Hm. You better get cleaned up then. Lord Kamui is here and would like you to join him for dinner."

Miwa, who was getting her bags from Bansai, stopped, "Eh? But I'm cooking dinner."

"Dinner preparations are complete. Please freshen up and proceed to the hall. This ship is leaving port for a while." The feminist turned and walked away.

Miwa was frustrated at the missed opportunity to get closer to Takasugi and with her shoulders slumped she told Bansai to go ahead while she deposits the food in her bags in the kitchen, "Don't bother waiting up. I need a bath." She projected a sorry figure as she headed to the kitchen.

Bansai sighed and headed to the hall.

Almost an hour later, Miwa, dressed up in one of her more formal kimonos, her hair combed straight and her scratches covered with light make-up, entered the hall. She gave a customary bow as she passed the doorway and another bow when she approached Kamui.

"I'm happy to see you well, King of the Night." She gave Kamui a smile, "It's an honor that you took the time to visit."

Kamui waved at her dismissively, "No, it wasn't me. Abuto won't stop yapping about you since you left so he dragged me here to check on you."

"Oi, oi, look at the pot calling the kettle black." Abuto said beside him.

Miwa turned to Abuto, bowed and smiled, "I'm sorry for worrying you, Abuto-sama. But I'm fine, as you can see."

"Weren't you listening to me? I said it wasn't me!" Abuto said.

"It's okay, we understand. She's your Genesis, right?" Kamui piped.

"Is that so? I'm so sorry, Abuto-sama, I can't return your feelings." She covered her mouth with her fan and turned her gaze away. She seemed like she's trying to cover up her shyness though there's a really dead look in her eyes.

"Oi, why am I getting rejected? When did I confess to you?"

"Ah. I think you broke his heart." Kamui added.

"But to compare me to a Genesis, how old does he think he is?" Miwa said indignantly.

"Okay…_now_ you're breaking my heart. Will you stop it? You want to see this old man cry? For two idiots who dislike each other, you sure work together quite well. Did I miss some kind of crazy development?"

"Abuto isn't old. He's still at that stage where he has weird dreams about the girl he likes every night."

"He has weird dreams about me every night?! I'll call the cops!"

"Oi! Haven't you heard a word I said? Listen when others are talking, you unfeeling bastards!"

Kamui continued to eat and Miwa giggled. She then turned to Takasugi who was ignoring their tirades. He was just sitting there silently eating his dinner and occasionally swatting Kamui's chopstciks when it wanders into his food. '_I wish I made his food. At least then we'd have something to talk about.'_

From the other side of the room, Bansai saw Miwa watching Takasugi for a long moment with that sad look of hers, with her mouth slightly agape as if desperately wanting to start talking but she can't. But like all her other tries, she just ended up turning away. _'What does she want to tell him so badly?' _he wondered.

Since then, Bansai found himself counting the times she'd see Takasugi and would start to say something but hesitate in the end. It happened everytime the two met.

It took him three weeks to find enough time to take her out again. Three weeks that things seemed to suddenly get hectic around the Kiheitai. Jobs that wouldn't normally go to him were finding their way to him. Well, the reason was always because they were short-handed. It seems the number of idiots pissing off Miwa is still quite substantial, and they were getting more persistent lately.

"Ha! They can't even compare to the perverts I fend off at Yoshiwara every day! But they're good practice though." She ate a spoonful of frozen yogurt Bansai bought for her, "Oh, this is great! Anyway, they can't blame me for not showing any mercy. If they were doing this to any other woman, I would have cut their balls off and fed it to them, "she said with a face that made Bansai suspect she's done it before.

"It's a good lesson for the men, I daresay."

They were currently resting for a while in the park, sitting on a bench across a sunglasses wearing homeless guy Miwa was chatting up earlier until she realized the man was asleep the whole time.

Miwa nodded, "Hm. I can't even imagine what a nightmare it must have been for Matako when she first arrived there. Must be why she's always so angry and pushy." She chewed on the strawberry on her yogurt.

Bansai stared at her and then decided against saying something. In his mind, he can't remember a time when Matako had the same problem as Miwa.

She stood up and stretched, "What a nice day!" she relished the warmth of the sun on her face, "Let's go walk around some more!" and she was already walking away before he could even process what she said.

"Oh? What's that?" he heard her exclaim before he caught up to her.

"It's a skateboard, Miss." Was the dreaded answer.

Bansai froze. Did Miwa's eyes just glint at him evilly when she turned back to him with an equally wicked grin on her face?

* * *

Later that afternoon, Miwa and Bansai were just walking around the streets of Kabuki-chou, watching the bars come to life for the coming of the night.

"It's just like Yoshiwara, I guess." Miwa observed the people and places they passed by. It's just like Yoshiwara, but there was more freedom in the air.

Bansai's phone rang. "It's from the recording company. Why don't you walk ahead while I take this? I'll catch up with you later." He told her.

"Take your time. I think I want to stop at that snack bar ahead."

He nodded and walked away.

As she approached the Snack Bar, her heart was racing and her palms were sweating. She twirled her umbrella faster, as if that would calm her. Otose's Snack, the sign said. And above that would be…she dared look up, "Yorozuya Gin". She stopped in front of the building, just staring at the sign.

She had heard so much about this place from Tsukuyo and Hinowa. She knew he was there for a long time now. But she didn't run out to see him. Even when he'd saved Yoshiwara and she had been freed from Hosen, she didn't show her face to him. She wondered how he'd react if she suddenly showed up. Would he recognize her? Did he think she was dead? Did he ever look for her, wonder where she was?

_Did you hate me for not keeping our promise? _ She knew he wouldn't.

"Excuse me, Miss. Is there something we can help you with?" a voice said.

Miwa averted her eyes from the sign to see a glasses wearing teenage boy and a bright haired girl with a giant dog, '_Oh…Shimura Shinpachi and Kamui-sama's little sister, Kagura-sama. The dog is Sadaharu…I think.'_

The boy blushed when her gaze lingered a little longer on him and she smiled, "Is Sakata Gintoki here?" she asked.

The girl snorted, "That good for nothing lazy perm, what did he do this time? And to a lady, nonetheless! Tsk. Adults these days are so hard to control."

"For someone who was trying to beat up a policeman not even ten minutes ago, you can talk," a dead pan voice said.

"Ah. Okita-san." Shinpachi greeted.

"Shut up, Sadist! Want another beating?" Kagura aimed her fists at him.

Sougo just eyed her nonchalantly, "As much as I like our little throwdowns, I'm quite busy right now." He walked past the irate girl who puffed her cheeks in annoyance. Sougo stopped before Miwa, "Heard you're looking for Danna. Did he refuse to pay you after last night or something? You know, I can throw him in the slammer for you."

Only Miwa could see his expression, but right now, there was a menacing aura about the guy she can't place. He was looking at her like a predator waiting for his prey to walk into his trap. She tapped the sword concealed in her clothes and smiled innocently at the young officer, "Nothing of the sort, officer."

He smirked at her, "I doubt Danna can afford to catch even a glimpse of you anyway, " then he inched closer so only she could hear, "So I'd be very careful if I were you, lady. Terrible things happen to pretty little things like you in prison." And he walked away with a wave, "Not that I would mind, of course."

Miwa clenched her fists, shaking with silent rage. How dare he insult her like that? How much does he know about her?

"Tsk. That stupid sadist."

"Now, now, Kagura-chan," Shinpachi calmed her down before turning to the woman, "Gin-san is upstairs right now. Would you like to come up?" he offered.

Miwa found herself shaking her head. Now's not the best time. Now that she knew she could get out of Yoshiwara anytime, she could just see him anytime. But right now, she had other things to do. Gintoki would have to wait until she settled things with Takasugi. No matter how long it takes. Then she'd come running as fast as she could to see him.

"No need to. Just tell him Miwa is going to see him soon." She bid them goodbye and went her way.

Shinpachi watched her disappear in the crowd, "I wonder who she is."

Kagura shrugged and trudged up the steps to the Yorozuya, "I dunno. Probably the mysterious girlfriend in Gin-chan's love-love arc he'd been wishing for a long time now."

"Eh?! What are you talking about? We're doing a Gin-chan love-love arc?" Shinpachi raced after her.

"What's all this talk about Gin-chan's love-love arc? Is it starting? Am I suddenly going to be popular? If this is going to be a repeat of that prank you guys pulled last year, I'm going to make gorillas extinct!" Gintoki poked his head in the doorway. He seemed to have come fresh from the shower.

"Oh, Gin-san, there was a really beautiful woman looking for you earlier," Shinpachi said as he pushed back Gintoki's head and entered the house.

Gintoki immediately followed them to the couch, "Beautiful?! We're talking about a woman, right? A **_real_** woman?"

"She said she was going to see him soon, yes?" Kagura picked her nose nonchalantly as she flipped through channels on their tv.

Gintoki was in a whole new world, "This must be it, isn't it? Gin-chan's love-love arc for real?! Gin-chan's finally going to be popular?!" he posed dramatically, "Did she say anything about me?"

"Hm..she just said to tell you that Miwa is going to see you see. I'm not sure if that's her name or—Gin-san?" Shinpachi did not even notice when Gintoki stopped listening and ran out of the house.

The two raced after him and watched from the balcony as Gintoki looked left and right through the crowded street frantically, "Shinpachi, which way did she go?" he shouted.

"Eh? Ah. There. But-," before he could finish again, Gintoki was already running in the direction he pointed.

"Oi! What's that idiot's problem?" Otose came out of the bar. The two upstairs shrugged.

They waited for Gintoki to come back, but he was dead drunk when Madao lugged him back to the house at three in the morning.

"Miwa…" he murmured as they laid him on his futon.

"Who's Miwa, Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked almost to himself.

Then came the answer the two of them didn't expect to hear that caught them and Sa-chan-san(who was hiding in the ceiling waiting for a chance to strike at the drunk Gintoki) in surprise, "My precious sister….Miwa."

* * *

She made her way back to the docks, this time more vigilant. Whether the policeman is bluffing or not, she can't risk getting caught. She had so much to do now that she could live the way she intended to right from the very start.

Bansai was waiting for her at the walkway connecting the ship to the harbor, "Had to take a rain check, I daresay," he walked her to the ship.

"I figured after the policeman accosted me that we're not meeting up again,"

They had rounded a corner when they saw Takasugi approaching. Miwa stopped. Takasugi was smoking his pipe and seemed nonchalant about his surroundings, or maybe just her in particular.

"Good afternoon, Shinsuke," she greeted, "Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" she asked.

Takasugi just kept walking, "I'm going out tonight," was all he said to her, or more like to Bansai or even to the air.

"But…I have so many things to tell you about and I would be happy if you could spare me even a little bit of your time," she insisted.

"I have no time for your frivolities. Go back to Yoshiwara,, courtesan."

"How…how about tomorrow night? Or the next night? When are you free?" she pressed on. _We can't go around in circles anymore, Shinsuke. Gintoki is waiting for me._

Takasugi was gone.

Miwa slumped her shoulders in defeat, "Ah…I screwed it up."

Bansai slid the door to her room open for her, "Forgive me for prying, but what is your deal with Shinsuke?"

Miwa sat on the windowsill and fanned herself as Bansai sat down on the tatami, "Shinsuke and I…we were childhood friends," she answered as she looked out at the sunset making the sea glisten orange.

Bansai raised an eyebrow, "Now, this I'd like to hear, I daresay,"

Miwa smirked, "It's quite a long boring story. Sure you won't fall asleep on me?"

Bansai smiled at her reassuringly.

She sighed and started her story, "I was orphaned at a young age, you see. Then my mother's twin brother, Ishida Shouyo, came for me. I met Shinsuke when I was nine and he was eleven. He was studying under the tutelage of my uncle with Katsura Kotaro and Sakata Gintoki…my adoptive brother."

* * *

**So how was it? :) This has been stuck in my head for a really long time. And I'm stressed out right now so I thought I'd write to declutter my mind. Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated. ")**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The man introduced himself as her late mother's older twin brother. It was the first time they met, but she can't doubt the uncanny resemblance she had with her uncle. She also looked like an exact copy of her mother. The man also did. With the way she almost ran into him when she saw him approaching, thinking it was her mother coming back for her. But she had held herself at bay. Because she knew nobody's coming back to her anymore. They were lost to her…forever.

"Come live at my house. You don't have to be alone." The man with the gentlest eyes she ever saw had said. It was brighter than even her mother's.

She did not say anything and just up and came up to him quietly. Why wouldn't she want to leave that place? She can't even bear to look back one last time.

She remembered the joy and the warmth. Such feelings seemed alien to her now, like it belonged in another place and another time. She had the most loving parents in the world. Even if they had next to nothing, they were happy and contented. Her father farmed and occasionally taught her the sword while her mother wove cloths they could peddle. She remembered jumping around excitedly when her mother told her she'd be getting a new sibling soon. Her father told her she'd be a wonderful big sister. They told her she wouldn't be alone.

Then came the nightmare.

Her mother became more and more sickly as she came closer to giving birth. She said she'd be fine, that it was just like this before Miwa was born. Miwa and her father were reassured because of her confidence. She died giving birth to a stillborn baby boy. Her father went insane with grief. A week after her mother's and baby brother's funeral, she woke up to find her father hanging from the beams.

She remembered the times her father carried her on his shoulders while he held her mother's hand as they walked home. And now…she was all alone.

She thought it wasn't entirely hopeless. Her mother had told her how to cook, weave and grow vegetables. Maybe if she put her back to it, she could survive on her own. But the nights continued to grow colder and the nightmares more vivid. She'd dream about her mother carrying her baby brother, walking away beside her father. She'd beg for them to take her with them, to come back, to look at her. She'd scream that she didn't want to be alone. But it was just her screaming herself awake, afraid to go back to sleep.

It was a month of loneliness before her uncle arrived. And when he asked her to live with him, she did not hesitate. Anything but being alone and miserable. She packed up what little clothes she had and her father's sword. It was all that was left. Her mother's jewelry were sold to pay for their debts.

They left her house that afternoon and walked for the next five days until they reached a quiet village at the foot of a mountain. Along the way, he had told her about his job and his life, of her mother when she was young, his students and most importantly, the bushido.

"Can I be a samurai?" was the only thing she asked him along the way.

"As long as you live straight and keep a clean soul, you can be a samurai." He told her and he delighted in the way her eyes sparkled with new life.

* * *

Her uncle's house was situated on the mountain side, with a long winding staircase leading to it. It was higher up than any house in the town. It was the first time she saw such a vast view of lands but it still didn't compare to the view she saw when was on her father's shoulders.

"Well, Miwa-chan, it's simple, but this will be your new home." He said to her as they arrived at the top of the stairs.

If this is what he called simple, he must have thought her old house was a squalor, Miwa thought as she stared at the structure in front of her. It was huge. And isn't it a temple?

He was pointing at the structure in front of them, "This is the temple, on the left is the school and on the right is the dojo. Our house is at the back."

She nodded and they made their way to the house. In its doorstep was a kid with silver hair sleeping, hugging a huge sword. When they were close to him, he woke up and yawned.

"Ah, Gintoki-kun, I'd like you to meet Miwa. She'll be living with us from now on," Shouyo pulled her forward gently.

Gintoki eyed her sleepily before nodding at her in acknowledgement, "Sakata Gintoki."

"Igarashi Miwa." She replied meekly.

They had an awkward dinner before she was led to her room. Her uncle told her he'd introduce her to his class tomorrow. For the first time since her mother died, she didn't have a nightmare.

The next day after breakfast, which was strangely the same things they had for dinner, she followed her uncle and Gintoki to the classroom. She could hear the noise emanating from it getting louder and louder as they approached and it made her all the more nervous. She'd never been to school before, and it was just her mother teaching her how to read and write, what if they take her for a fool?

When her uncle slid the door open, the room miraculously became quiet. They entered and Gintoki stalked to the back of the room, sat down and promptly slept. She and her uncle stood in front as all eyes were fixed on them. It was a fairly large class, consisting of boys and girls, each with their individual tables.

"I'd like to introduce the newest member of our class. She'd also be living here starting today. Please be kind to her," Shouyo said. The class erupted in murmurs. She heard them say:

"Oh, it is a girl this time."

"Where do you think sensei got her? Same with Gintoki?"

"Wow…they look alike."

A young boy sitting in front was glaring at her. _What's his problem? _Miwa thought to herself.

"It must be _**that**_, right?" a firm voice emanated from the corner of the room near Gintoki. It was from a boy with long black hair. His arms were crossed in front of him and he had a smile on his face as if he had figured out a mystery.

"Eh? What's _**that**_, Zura?" another boy asked.

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura. It's _**that.**_" He nodded to himself, "Yes. _**That**_."

"So what is it?! Tell us, Zura!"

"Yeah, tell us, Zura!"

He opened his eyes and said, "There's no mistake about it. She's sensei's secret love-child." He declared sagely.

"Eh?!" the children, even Shouyo, was shocked.

Then much to his horror, the children started agreeing.

"Yeah, I knew they look so much alike."

"Oh my. Sensei betrayed us."

"Now, children. Where did you learn such a word? I'm sure it's not from me." Shouyo tried to calm them down.

"Sensei, Takasugi-kun has turned white from shock."

"Eh? Takasugi-kun?!" her uncle then turned to the boy who was glaring at Miwa earlier.

"Sensei…sensei has a…love-love-child." The kid was murmuring.

"You've got it wrong, Takasugi-kun. She's not my love-child. She's my niece." Shouyo tried hard to explain. He looked towards Miwa for help but the girl had a look of utter sadness etched on her face.

"To go so far as to deny his own child, I can't believe Otou-san is this irresponsible! Okaa-san was right! You are a good for nothing!" she sniffled.

"Eh?! Miwa-chan?! Eh?!" Shouyo gasped. She just buried him deep.

"Sensei, you made her cry! What can you say for yourself?!"

And the children bullied him well into the afternoon. So much for his excitement in meeting them after being away for some two weeks. But this is a normal occurrence…and he was happy that Miwa was integrating well with the children even if it was to bring him more misery.

Miwa was a bright child. She had already mastered the basics of reading and writing so Shouyo did not have problems tutoring her outside class so she could catch up with the rest. She was a fast-learner and she enjoyed learning History and Arts. But the subject she excelled in the most was Kendo. She devoted most of her free time training.

"I want to be a samurai! I want to be strong!" was always her answer when asked by anyone why a girl would be wielding such a thing like a sword while she could be learning to cook or embroider, like her other female classmates.

People asked Shouyo why he just let Miwa do whatever she likes. But his answers were the same as Miwa's. "She wants to be strong. If that's the way she wants to live her life, then I wouldn't stop her. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be strong."

* * *

"I always told people I wanted to be strong. But deep inside, I just don't want to end up alone again. I want to be strong, strong enough to hold on to the people I love."

* * *

She would get into fights when she was adamant about something. She had taken to calling him 'Otou-san' outside of class. She always hangs out with Gintoki and Katsuta, both of whom seemed to have taken to watching over her like a hawk without her knowing. They were like siblings.

So what puzzled Miwa was a certain Takasugi Shinsuke's reaction to her. He seemed aloof when it comes to her, ignoring her, and if confrontation is unavoidable, never agrees with her. She has no idea why Takasugi alone can't get along with her. She once thought it was because he wasn't used to interacting with girls but then she learned that Takasugi was the only son in a family with seven children.

She'd often complain about him to Shouyo and Gintoki at dinner, "That Bakasugi! What's his problem with me? Why does he hate me so much?"

But Shouyo would just chuckle and accuse her of getting along so well with Takasugi and Gintoki would just pretend he didn't hear them.

* * *

"One day, I had enough of Shinsuke."

* * *

"I'm not weak! Shut up, Bakasugi!" she screamed.

"What did you call me, you little runt?!" a vein in Shinsuke's forehead popped.

"Bakasugi!" she repeated, "Because you're an idiot who doesn't know anything!"

Katsura and Gintoki ignored the two of them and just practiced swinging their bamboo swords. All their classmates had already gone home but the four of them always stayed behind long after class is over in order to practice some more.

"I'd rather be an idiot than a weakling like you! Your parents probably-," he didn't finish his sentence because Miwa pounced on him, punching and kicking and scratching. That was when Gintoki and Katsura dropped their swords and pried Miwa off him.

"Don't ever rope my parents into this, you bastard! You don't know them! You don't know anything!" she screeched.

Takasugi winced at the scratches on his face. He turned to glare at Miwa but when he saw that she was crying, his anger died and the insults died on his tongue.

She sniffled, "I'm trying so hard so I wouldn't have to miss them so much. Leave me alone, Bakasugi." She got out of Gintoki and Katsura's hold and ran back to the house.

* * *

"After that, I started resenting him for real. I know everytime we saw each other since than that he seemed to be genuinely sorry but I hated him so much. I avoided anything to do with him. Well, you could hand it to Shinsuke, he does try really hard when he's adamant about something. But he was still so childish. He always says the wrong things. I know he doesn't mean it, but man, he could be so infuriating. Like that time during the village festival."

* * *

One day, she was walking through the village when she saw one of her girl classmates holding up her new kimono for her father to see. It was silky and beautiful. Miwa looked over her clothes. She looked so impoverished.

"Ara…aren't you turning ten too, Miwa-chan?" the old lady who she was accompanying through a walk in the village said to her. She sometimes teaches Miwa to cook so they wouldn't have to eat Shouyo's cooking everyday. Apparently, for all he's worth, Sensei can only cook katsudon. In return, Miwa accompanies the old woman in her errands.

"I am. But I can't go. I don't have anything to wear for it." Miwa said. The highlight of the festival were that girls ten years old and above were going to dress prettily and dance in the village square to pray for good harvest.

The old woman chuckled, "Why don't you ask Sensei? I'm sure he'd be happy to buy you one."

Miwa averted her gaze, "I can't ask Sensei for that. I've already gotten so much from him. Besides, he's not my real parent. I shouldn't be greedy."

"What a nice child you are! But I think you should rely on Sensei from time to time. I'm sure he's waiting for you to say you want new clothes for the festival."

Miwa smiled, "It's ok. I'm fine. I'm happy enough as it is. I don't have to go."

But her eyes were drawn back to the kimono her classmate was now twirling around in with a broad grin on her face.

"Oh? You want one? That kind of thing doesn't suit you." A familiar voice said behind her.

She turned and saw Takasugi looking at the girl she was staring at. Miwa felt embarrassed and ran away crying.

Later that night at dinnertime, she and Shouyo were waiting for Gintoki to come home so they could eat. He and Miwa were seated at the dinner table when Shouyo suddenly handed her a box. She looked at him, puzzled.

"Open it." He told her, seemingly excited.

Miwa carefully opened the box. Inside was a new kimono. A smile lit her face as she pulled the whole cloth out of the box and held it against her body. It was so soft and shiny, " Shouyo-sensei! It's beautiful!"

Shouyo chuckled, "Gintoki-kun and Katsura-kun helped me pick earlier. I'm glad you like it."

"Sensei…" she was crying and Shouyo was confused. He really had to get the hang of raising a daughter.

So he just settled for a gentle smile which never failed to calm her down, "You don't have to hold yourself back. We're family, Miwa-chan. You're my strong daughter I'm proud of."

Miwa sobbed louder and threw her arms around his neck. He patted her on the head comfortingly.

The door slid open and Gintoki slipped in with a blank look on his face, before he noticed Miwa crying against Shouyo's shoulder, "Why are you crying again?" he asked as he came closer.

"Huh?" Miwa lifted her head. "I'm just happy, thank you, nii-chan."

"We've been waiting for you. What kept you?" Shouyo asked as Miwa and Gintoki settled in their seats.

Gintoki shrugged and reached for his chopsticks, "There was a suspicious person loitering outside the house."

"Oh? Did they say what they want?"

"No. He ran away while we were talking about it."

And they left it at that. The next day, Miwa happily showed off her new kimono to her family.

"You look absolutely cute, Miwa-chan." Shouyo said.

"Really? Nii-chan, how do I look?" she twirled in front of Gintoki and smiled.

"Absolutely cute," he just repeated what Sensei said but the slight tilt in his lips told her he still meant it.

Miwa was happy. When she was walking along with some of her other female classmates to the village square that night after spending the day learning how to do the dance, she met Takasugi.

"Seriously, why do you bother Sensei with such things?" he said after taking a brief look at her.

* * *

"Well, all hell broke loose after he said that. I unconsciously pounced on him and started beating him up. Some men had to pry me off him because he was bleeding already. Sensei had to apologize to his parents afterwards. But I wasn't sorry because he ruined my day."

Bansai just absorbed the information. So Shinsuke never really knew how to handle her since way back?

"After that, I can't even begin to count how many times he made me cry from his insensitive comments, how many times I beat him up because he just doesn't know when to shut up. Really, we just can't get along. Our day still came though."

_Oh? Did Shinsuke finally tell her?_ Bansai perked up. _It's glaringly obvious._

"Let's see…when did it all start to change…Ah! There was this time when we went to the mountain. You see, Zura's pet ran away."

* * *

"Elizabeth! Elizabeth!" Katsura shouted as they walked through bushes and outgrowths. His three friends followed after him, bored out of their minds. Gintoki was almost asleep on his feet. The three of them have no idea what Elizabeth looks like, but if it's Zura's pet, they don't really want to know anyway. He does have an obsession with the weird and exotic.

"Oi, Zura, are you sure your pet did not just run away on purpose? You've been calling since morning," Takasugi asked.

"Elizabeth! Elizabeth!" Zura kept on calling.

"Listen to me when I'm talking to you, dammit!"

"Zura, what exactly are we looking for?" Miwa ventured to ask. Maybe if the three of them started helping like they were meant to, they could go home sooner.

"Elizabeth, my pet. She's brown and furry." Katsura answered, "And it's not Zura, it's Katsura."

"Oh , I see. Well, how big is she?"

"Very big. I think he's taller than my father if he stands on his two legs."

"Wow, I've never seen a dog that big before," Miwa mused.

Katsura looked at her as if she's stupid, "It's not a dog, it's a bear." He corrected her, "Oh, Elizabeth."

There was a brief frozen moment before Gintoki and Takasugi kicked him down.

"You were knowingly leading us through a mountain looking for a bear?! Are you trying to get us killed?!" Takasugi yelled.

"But Elizabeth is lost-," Katsura piped up.

"It's not lost! It went back to the wild, you stupid wig!"

Just then, there was a growling noise.

"What was that?" Miwa asked, suddenly vigilant of her surroundings.

The three boys looked around but there was nothing. Then a big brown furry head poked out of the bushes just a few meters away from them. Katsura broke into a grin, "Elizabeth!"

"Run!" Takasugi yelled and the three of them ran, Gintoki dragging Katsura behind them.

But while they were running, Miwa slipped on some moss covered rocks. She accidentally grabbed onto Takasugi and the two continued to slide into a 20 feet deep hole in the ground. Fortunately, there was a thick pile of leaves that cushioned their fall.

Gintoki and Katsura leaned over the edge.

"Miwa!" Gintoki called in a voice with the most emotion they ever got from him that left the three of them surprised. He must be frantic inside even if he doesn't show it.

"I'm fine!" she answered immediately to assuage him. But when she stood up on her own, sle let out a yelp of pain. She touched her right ankle. Takasugi bent over and checked it.

"You must have sprained it when you slipped.' He said with a hint of worry in his voice that had Miwa wondering if he broke his head.

Miwa checked her surroundings. It was possible to climb out but it would need a lot of effort and she can't pressure her foot. She thought about having them pulled up with a rope but it was a pine forest, where would they get vines? Gintoki and Zura had to go down the mountain and get help.

"Gintoki, Zura, go get Sensei. We'll be fine but Miwa needs help as soon as possible!" Takasugi called at the two.

Zura and Gintoki nodded and stood up.

"Oi, Bakasugi!"

"What?!" Takasugi answered back angrily. He almost did not catch the sword Gintoki threw down. The two shared a look and Takasugi nodded.

"Miwa, use the sword to cut down Shinsuke if he does something inappropriate!" Zura said. Miwa smiled.

"What the hell do you think I am?!" Takasugi yelled indignantly.

And they were gone. Takasugi sat down near Miwa. She waited for him to insult her for her stupidity, for making them fall into this hole. But none came, instead he said, "Don't worry. You'll be alright. Does it still hurt?"

"Huh? Eh? It's bearable. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

There was an awkward silence and she yawned, "Sorry."

"Go to sleep. I'd keep watch." He pulled the sword closer, "Go take a rest. Sensei will be here soon."

She thought Takasugi being overly nice to her was a once-in-a-lifetime event so she'd take whatever he offers. She laid on her side and slept close to him.

* * *

"It was already dark when we were rescued. Since then, Shinsuke seemed to make an effort to guard himself around me. I mean, it was so obvious in his actions that he's trying to be nice. He was really funny at that time. I think that's when I started to like him. He can be quite charming when he's not being an ass," Miwa said.

There was a knock, and the door slid open and a servant pushed in a tea cart. Miwa thanked him and started making tea for herself and Bansai, "Be grateful. Yoshiwara's finest courtesan is making tea for you, aside from regaling you with her wonderful stories." She handed him his cup.

"I thank you for that." Bansai toasted to her. Miwa giggled and went back to her seat on the window sill.

"Where was I? Well, those were our happy and carefree days. We all got closer as we grew up. Or maybe we just got used to each other, I don't know, but, such moments eventually ended, sooner than I thought."

Bansai quickly learned that when Miwa was about to talk about something that upsets her, she tends to look away and stare at something else. Like what she was doing right now. She was staring at the ocean again.

"It was three years after I moved in with them. Some uniformed men from Edo visited Sensei. He told the four of us to go to the village for a while. He said they were men of the Shogunate and they had some important things to talk about. We felt something was wrong so we just stayed at the bottom of the stairs. And then we saw smoke coming from the house. Gintoki ran the fastest and before I could catch up with him at the top, Shinsuke and Zura pushed me off to the side. And I watched as they beat up Gintoki, how Sensei begged for them to stop and he'd go with them quietly, how helpless I was. All the times I said I want to be strong…they were all lies. Because when it came to that moment, I was just a kid. A helpless kid who can just cry and cry. If Shinsuke and Zura had let me run in there I would have just been a burden to Sensei. So they chose not to let Sensei see me get hurt on top of Gintoki. Because that's the only thing we could do for him."

"And just like that, he was gone."

* * *

**Review are welcome :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

"The Bakufu wouldn't release Sensei, so the three of them agreed to fight in the Joui war that was ongoing at that time. So in the two years they have left before they were sixteen, they trained so hard. That was when Shinsuke rounded up his former classmates and made the original Kiheitai." Miwa continued her story.

She picked up Bansai's shamisen which he had taken off and plucked it experimentally, just so she could have something to occupy her hands with. "Two years passed and they were still eager to rescue Sensei. I knew they wouldn't change their minds, but deep inside, I hoped for them to calm down. I'm sure Sensei wouldn't want to watch them go to war for his sake. But I couldn't say it. So I asked my brother to take me with them instead."

* * *

Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi were going to leave in a few weeks to join some men from the village who were going to the battlefields. As she watched Gintoki train in the backyard, she was suddenly overcome with dread. She'll be alone again and she found it scary. She made up her mind by the time she called him in for dinner.

"Thanks for the food," Gintoki said as he dug into his dinner. Then he noticed Miwa just playing with her food.

"What's the matter? Did Zura tell you something weird again?" He asked.

As if she suddenly found some kind of determination, she looked him straight in the eyes, "Nii-chan, are you really going to war? Is this really what you want? Do you think Sensei would like-,"

"Miwa, they took Sensei. We're going to bring him back. That's all there is to it."

"But Sensei wouldn't want this. There has to be another way!"

"I can't speak for Zura and Shinsuke, but I have something to protect, that's why I'm going to fight for it," he then put down his finished bowl and headed for the door.

"Then take me with you! I can fight too!"

"No," was his abrupt answer.

"What?!" she was on the verge of tears, "Why?!"

He turned back to look at her, "You're just going to be a burden."

Miwa stood up indignantly, "You know that's not true! I'm better than Zura and Shinsuke at the sword and we all know that!"

Gintoki walked out of the room and away from her sight, "You're not going, Miwa. You don't understand."

Having enough of his inept replies, she stomped over to him and forcefully turned him to face her. She tightened her grip on his arms, "Then give me a reason I will understand."

Gintoki sighed and easily pulled out of her grip and held her hands in his, "You're my only family left. Right now, you're the most important person to me. I'd do anything to protect you. You're the only home I can go back to. So just wait for us, where we know you're safe. I'd definitely get Sensei back."

Miwa let her tears fall and embraced her brother. Gintoki awkwardly put his arms around her shoulders and let her sob and complain all she wanted, "You better come back, you idiots. If you get yourself killed, I'll never forgive you."

Gintoki smirked, "Absolutely."

And Miwa hoped for their sake and hers that he wasn't lying.

* * *

"I told Shinsuke and Zura the same thing, that I'd wait for them to come back home safe. They both accepted it rather quickly that we'd all be separated and might never see each other again. That's when I knew there's nothing that will stop them from coming back to me. I wanted to do something for them besides waiting at home patiently. So I decided to make them clothes they could fight in comfortably."

* * *

"Ouch!" Miwa winced as she pricked her thumb again.

The kimono store owner chuckled at her before fetching another band-aid.

Miwa sucked on her injured thumb as she examined the black cloth that nowhere resembled the pants it was supposed to be. Beside her was a rejected pair that ended up crooked.

The owner came back with a box of band-aids and set it beside her, "You need to undo that again," he said gently, not wanting to further upset the already frustrated teen.

Miwa clicked her tongue and undid the previous stitches, "This is harder than I thought."

The owner smiled and patted her head, "And if the boys knew how much effort you'd put into those, I bet they'd feel so loved."

Miwa smirked, "I just hope I get these to them on time."

"You will…I know you will." The owner went to the back room, "Now what colors did you need again?" he called back.

"A little green and red for the seams and belt. And a large plain cloth, pure white, please!"

The owner looked at her curiously, "I don't think it's ideal to have white on their uniforms, Miwa-chan. It's too easy to spot."

Miwa grinned, "That's the point, oji-san. Trust me!"

"Whatever you say, child."

* * *

"I was barely able to finish the clothes the night before they left. I made the white, the only white, for my brother. Then a green one for Zura and a black one for Shinsuke. I gave Gintoki his during dinner. I told him to give Zura his along the road, but for some reason, I had a feeling I need to see Shinsuke that night. I don't know why. I just did. I was about to sneak out when I saw him coming up the stairs to the temple. So I waited for him at the top."

* * *

Miwa sat awkwardly on the top of the steps, eyes on her lap and the parcel of Shinsuke's clothes hidden behind her. Shinsuke seemed surprise to find her sitting there but he just stood some five steps below her. Neither of them spoke for an awkward ten minutes, looking at anywhere but each other before Shinsuke cleared his throat and turned back to her.

"What are you doing here, Miwa?" he asked, taking a seat two feet from her on the top of the stairs. He noticed the parcel behind her but said nothing.

"I was actually on my way to see you, Shinsuke. But I saw you, so I…I have something to give you." She handed him the parcel behind her, "It's clothes. You might want to try it on, see if it fits."

Takasugi quietly opened the parcel and went behind a tree for a minute before coming back to stand in front of her, "It fits perfectly. Thank you for the trouble." He smiled at her.

"It's nothing. I guess it's just me being selfish, trying to remind you not to forget about me," she shrugged and smiled back.

After changing back to his original clothes, Takasugi went back to sit beside her, "I, too, have something to give you. That's why I came here." He pulled out a small box from his sleeve, "I want you to have this."

She reached to open it when he put his hands on hers to stop her, "No, open it later, when you're alone."

She looked at him in confusion, "Why? What is it?" she cradled it protectively in her hands.

"My most important treasure." he looked serious.

Miwa gasped and tried to shove the box back to Takasugi, "Then I can't take this! Why are you giving me such a thing?!"

He pushed the box back to her, "I want you to have it. Do whatever you want with it, throw it, burn it, sell it. I want you to decide."

Sighing, Miwa pulled her hands back, "Stupid. If it's that important to you and you're letting me keep it, you should know that I'll never let anything happen to it. I'll keep it safe until you come back and get it."

He seemed relieved, "Thank you, Miwa."

She nodded and smiled at him reassuringly. And then there was a comfortable silence as they just sat there and watched the fireflies swarm the trees.

After a few minutes, Miwa broke the silence, "Isn't there something you want to say to me?"

Another long pause before Shinsuke answered, "Not now. When I come back."

Miwa bit her lip, "But what if you never come back?"

He looked at her and answered without hesitation, "I will come back. Definitely."

And Miwa knew he wasn't lying. He had utter faith in his return. And so will she, "I promise I'll be waiting. No matter what."

* * *

"And we all parted, just like that. When I woke up the next day, I was all alone. They left in the early morning. I told Gintoki to wake me up, so I could send them off, but the bastard didn't. I didn't even get to say 'goodbye'. Seriously, those boys. They just decide for themselves without a care for how their loved ones felt. Those stubborn, hopeless fools. I knew there's no way in hell they won't be back."

Miwa sipped her tea, glancing out the window. Bansai was munching on biscuits, listening to her eagerly. It was already dark out, and he would be missing dinner with the others in favor of hearing more of Miwa's stories.

"Shinsuke is such a sweetie, don't you think?" she giggled.

Bansai raised an eyebrow at her, "I've never thought of putting 'Shinsuke' and 'sweetie' in the same sentence before. As you can see, everything you're telling me is a new side to him I've never imagined he had before."

Miwa pouted, "Hmph! Fine then, I'd tell you what he gave me, see if you don't believe he's sweet."

* * *

It was a slow morning. As she sat on the table alone for the first time she came to this house. She waited for noise, for Zura to come barreling through a shoji screen after Gintoki sent him flying. For Shinsuke to scold them for destroying sensei's beloved home. For her to laugh at the three of them before offering them breakfast. They weren't even gone for half a day and she missed them already.

She stared at her cold breakfast. The clock went on ticking and ticking. She put away her food and went around the house.

It was quiet. Deadly quiet. She stopped by Sensei's old room. It was a bit dusty so she cleaned it first. There was a framed photo of him with the four of them sitting on the dresser. She stared at it then brought it to her room.

Next, she stopped by Gintoki's room. She took out his linens and washed them in the river after cleaning out his room. It was evening when she ran out of chores to occupy herself with and she sat down on the top of the stairs again, watching the fireflies, exhausted.

Now that her brother and friends were gone, she didn't know what to do with herself. She never really thought about the future before. She always thought that in a few years, she'd be married and have a family. Sensei would be there, her brother and Shinsuke and Zura. They'd all be together forever. Happy. Growing old together. She never knew there would come a day she'd be left alone. Even when she was a samurai, she still lost everything she had.

Then she remembered Shinsuke's gift to her. She still hadn't opened it. So she hurriedly went back to her room to see it.

After a short search underneath a broken floorboard in her room, she had the box safely in her hands. She carefully pressed the lock and it opened. She smiled sadly when she found what was inside.

It was a comb, a bejeweled comb to be exact. And looking back at it, she recalled that it was Shinsuke's mother's comb. The one passed down through generations as a wedding gift for the bride of the first-born son. That it would be in her hands right now would mean…

"Stupid…" Miwa held the comb near her heart as tears fell down her cheeks, "You idiot…you told me you won't say it until you get back."

After a few moments, she wiped her tears and stood in front of her mirror. She cleaned her face and brushed her hair before placing the ornamental comb atop her hair. It was really a work of art.

She smiled at her reflection. It was beautiful. She was beautiful, swollen eyes, red cheeks, trembling lips and all.

The next day, she had a photograph of herself taken wearing her most beautiful kimono and her bejeweled comb. On the back, she wrote a note to Shinsuke and had the letter sent to the town she heard they'd be staying for a week at to gather more people.

* * *

Miwa had a satisfied smirk on her face. She pointed at the same comb she was wearing in her hair that night, "See? I still have it on me. It's my most important treasure!"

Bansai smiled at her, "If there's ever doubt that Takasugi Shinsuke has a heart, that comb right there is proof that he does have one."

Miwa giggled, "I know! That's why I'd never part with this! Not in a million years!" she pulled the comb down from her hair and held it carefully in her hands, "When news came around the village that I was wearing the Takasugi heirloom, his family visited me and brought me gifts. Imagine my embarrassment! They were planning my own wedding already! Leave it to his mother and sisters to obsess over the wedding of their only boy!"

Bansai chuckled, "Did Shinsuke know?"

"He did! He sent me profuse letters of apology at his family's behavior and after that, they stopped bugging me about proper wife training. Did you know that every week after that, he'd sent me poems he personally made for me? I have them in my box over there, he wrote me sixteen."

Bansai, who was about to look for them, was stopped by Miwa's glare. He sat back down and continued munching on his biscuits, "Only sixteen? Did he run out of creative juices or did you finally manage to make him stop?"

Miwa looked out the window again, "I actually didn't get to find out if he sent me more letters. But before his seventeenth letter came, I was taken away to Yoshiwara."

Bansai perked up. _Now it gets more interesting._

"At sixteen weeks, Gintoki, Katsura and Shinsuke were already making waves at the battlefront. Not a day goes by where I don't hear about their exploits. I was glad and sad at the same time. I was glad that they are alive but I was sad because they are facing more and more dangerous enemies. I heard the Amanto and the Bakufu were sending bigger soldiers and stronger battleships. I heard about a demon in white. I heard about Katsura, the great tactician, I heard about Shinsuke and the Kiheitai. They were famous for being young and formidable."

Then there was an eerie silence.

"They came for me in the middle of the dark. The men who sold me to the night."

* * *

She heard a strange noise. She instantly picked up her father's sword which always lied beside her when she slept. She then took Takasugi's comb and letters, which were lying in a cushion beside her bed, and placed them in a compartment inside her top. They were the only things she deemed of value in the house and she was always ready for running away on short notice, ready for the backlash from her three friends' exploits.

She crept out silently. There was fire light outside, the men were carrying torches and were spreading out, surrounding the house. She drew out her sword and got ready to strike anything that came at her. She heard a door slide open with force and she kept to the shadows.

One of them came too close to where she was hiding and she didn't hesitate to cut him down. Her eyes widened when she recognized the clothes. Dread and anger filled her.

Another one crossed her vision and he had already alerted the others before she could silence him. A dozen men suddenly streamed into the house.

And then, there was only desperation.

She fought them in a red haze of manic frenzy. They were stronger than the classmates she practiced with but nowhere as good as the friends she learned with. She cut all of them down in a matter of minutes and she made her way outside where there were more men, about another dozen. They all attacked her the moment she stepped into their midst.

They were down to five men against her when a voice rang out followed by a frightened shriek. The men stopped attacking and Miwa took the small interlude to pause and breathe. Her eyes widened when she found the old woman next door with a sword to her throat, courtesy of what seemed to be the leader of the men.

"Obaa-chan!" Miwa gasped.

The old woman whimpered.

"Put down your sword if you don't want this woman to die!" the captain ordered.

Miwa lowered her stance but did not drop her sword. "What do you want from me? Why are you here?" she asked.

"Put down the sword now!" the captain yelled, pressing the blade against the old woman's neck until it bled. The old woman cried in pain.

Miwa sheathed her sword immediately but did not let go, "I won't attack anymore, I swear. Just…just let her go, please." She pleaded. The old woman had been kind to her since she came to live there and frequently brought her fruits and delicacies when she was living alone.

The captain released the old woman from his hold and handed her to the two men behind him. He then walked over to Miwa and produced a wanted poster. It had Shinsuke's face on it.

"Are you associated with this man?" he asked.

"Yes." She answered. No need to lie about what they both already knew.

The leader sighed as he rolled the paper and put it back in his pocket, "You do know that he is a traitor to this country and that association with him would warrant you an execution with no trial?"

"As far as I know, there are no traitors in my household. Who said they are fighting for something as feeble as a country? They are no patriots. They are samurai." She answered with a steely voice, "Being part of their family is my greatest pride."

The leader nodded, "I have special orders concerning you from above."

Miwa's mind raced. She can't die. She can't let the old woman die. She promised to wait. Could she sacrifice the old woman for her own life? Could she get to the old woman before they kill her? Could they run? Could she save them both?

"Instead of execution, you are to be taken to Yoshiwara. You are to be sold to pay off part of the damages incurred by your kin."

"Yoshiwara? Where is that?" she asked.

"In Edo. You are to work in one of the establishments."

"What if I don't want to leave here?"

The leader nodded towards the other men. The men then tossed their torches into her house. In a matter of seconds, it was engulfed in fire. Her mouth hung open in shock. In the time she was distracted, they must have doused her house with oil, "Stop!" she screamed, "No!"

They held her by the shoulders to stop her from running into the house.

"No!" she fought to be freed. The house. The house where she lived with Sensei and Gintoki. The house that was all she had left. The house with all her happiest memories. The picture. The picture of all of them. The place where she'd wait for all of them to come back all torn and weary. The house her brother would go back to.

She cried. Their precious house was slowly fading away.

She dropped to her knees in despair when the roof caved in and the walls burned down. She hugged her sword closer to her. The comb, the letters, the sword and the clothes on her back were the only things she had left of her former life. Everything else went down in flames.

When she had quieted down, the leader approached her and told her to hand over the sword. She refused vehemently. They tried to pry it away from her but she held on even when they were dragging her through the dirt. Finally, the captain took out a small vial of clear liquid and emptied its contents into a piece of cloth. He handed it another man and Miwa, who still refused to hand over her sword, was held down and had the cloth pressed to her nose.

As she began to relax, she heard the leader order for the old woman to be executed, "No one can ever know," and she lost unconsciousness.

* * *

She paused and looked sadly at Bansai, "That…was the last time I've ever been free. When I woke up, I was in Yoshiwara already. I was not to see the sky in another ten years."

There was someone wiping her face carefully with a wet cloth. She opened her eyes and grabbed the hand. It stopped and she jumped back, ready to defend herself. She felt for the familiar sword on her side but it wasn't there. She looked around. It wasn't anywhere.

"What are you looking for?" the other person in the room asked.

Miwa looked at her. She was probably the most beautiful person she had ever seen and her eyes, her eyes were so clear, it was encouraging to Miwa.

"I'm looking for my father's sword, where is it?"

The woman smiled at her soothingly, "I'm sorry. There wasn't any sword with you when you arrived in here."

Miwa frowned. For once, she felt insecure and vulnerable. Then she remembered Takasugi's comb. She'd truly die if she lost that. She felt for the secret compartment in her clothes but to her horror, she just realized that she was wearing a different set of clothes.

"My clothes! The clothes I was wearing before! Where is it?" she almost shook the woman by the shoulders.

A shadow moved behind the door and in came a blond teen about her age, with a scar on her face. The blond threw a kunai at her. Miwa backed away. She looked at her warily, the woman was poised to strike again.

"It's alright, Tsukuyo." The woman with the kind eyes said. Tsukuyo backed down but continued to watch her movements, "Your clothes are there," the woman pointed towards the closet, "They're quite torn,"

Miwa all but ran into it as she scrambled to find her clothes. She found it neatly folded but still dirty. She sighed in utmost relief as she hugged it close to her. "Thank God…"

"Is there something important in it?" the beautiful woman asked.

Miwa showed her the beautiful comb, "It's my treasure, the only one left."

The woman cooed when the light reflected off the jewels, "It's beautiful. Really beautiful. Is it your mother's?"

Miwa shook her head, "No. It's from a friend. He gave it to me before he went to war." She explained

The woman beamed and clapped her hand, "Oh! A fiancé! You lucky girl! Was he doing okay?"

Miwa nodded, "I'm sure he is. He promised he'd come back to me."

The woman held her hand in hers, "He's a lucky guy to have you."

The younger woman smiled, "He is!" then she remembered, "Umm…my name is Miwa."

"I'm Hinowa and this is Tsukuyo." She gestured to the blond woman.

* * *

A servant brought in their dinner after Bansai asked for them to be brought into Miwa's room. He set down a tray each for Miwa and Bansai before taking his leave. When he left they both sat down in front of their respective dinners.

"And that's how I got to Yoshiwara and met Hinowa and Tsukuyo," Miwa continued after eating her first bite of grilled tuna. "I became Hinowa's apprentice. I was fourteen at that time. My virginity would have been auctioned to the perverts if it weren't for Hinowa protecting me. She held so much sway that it would be bad to antagonize her."

"I constantly accompanied Hinowa. She taught me everything she knew. Dancing, singing, playing instruments, how to hold a conversation with customers, how to keep them more interested in what I have to say than what I can do for them in bed. She taught me to save myself. I have a lot to thank her for."

"Did you ever try to escape?" Bansai asked. For a woman like her who had a lot to live for and a lot more spunk that she let on, she would have surely tried at least.

"I did. But at the time of my apprenticeship with Hinowa, I didn't yet. I knew I wouldn't make it past the elevator. The guards were still too strong, even for me. I don't even have a sword. So when Hinowa gives me leave, I go train with Tsukuyo and her master. He creeped me out but he's really good at fighting. He's a great teacher and Tsukuyo loved him a lot. That's how I polished my sword style even in Yoshiwara. I swear that guy that was rigging the bamboo sword he lends me when I practice, it was getting steadily heavier every time."

She drank her tea, "It took me two years to finally deem myself strong enough to make it out alive. I told Hinowa that I was going to make a break for it. I didn't expect her to be having similar thoughts. At that time, I had no idea what was in store for me."

* * *

Miwa made her way slowly along the passages, a short sword hidden beneath her clothes. She was walking casually through the streets towards the elevator, trying to look as relaxed as possible. There were a dozen elevators going out of Yoshiwara and one of them is broken. It was boarded up until it can be repaired but the emergency stairs inside is still intact. Miwa watched it from a distance. It was located in a scarcely populated part of town. There were only four men guarding it.

She gauged their movements. They wouldn't provide much challenge for her but she had to do this as quickly as possible so they don't get to alert others.

Then she heard a whimper followed by the sound of a baby crying.

Miwa's eyes darted around and, to her horror, she spotted Hinowa hiding behind a drum in the alley way across the street. Hinowa was holding the baby and trying to pacify it but to no avail.

"Who's there?! Show yourself!" one of the guards called.

Miwa perked up and felt her stomach drop when she heard their approaching footsteps. Hinowa was still pre-occupied with the baby and didn't notice them.

Miwa looked at her and the guards and willed Hinowa to run for her life. If they find the woman and the baby, they'd surely be killed, hinowa's status be damned. It was the most unforgivable crime a woman can make in Yoshiwara.

They walked past where Miwa was hiding and they wouldn't have noticed her if she quietly walked to the elevator as they busied themselves killing Hinowa and the baby.

But when they dragged Hinowa from her hiding place, Miwa knew she couldn't just run away on her own.

"Don't touch her." She growled in a voice she can't believe was hers. She raised the short sword in front of her.

The guards turned to her and laughed. Hinowa, for some reason, had a determined look on her face, like she had complete faith that Miwa can save them.

And she did.

She moved in a way that she wasn't aware she could, faster than she used to and with swift, silent movements, she swung her short sword down on the men. One by one, they fell dead on her feet. By the end of it, she was panting hard. It reminded her of the men who burned her house down, how she had succeeded in killing most of them in a feat of desperation.

There it was again. Her killing frenzy.

"Miwa, come on." Hinowa tugged her towards the elevator. Miwa nodded and wiped the blood splattered on her face. She'd think about it later. Right now, her priority is to get Hinowa and the baby out of Yoshiwara. It was a long climb but once they start climbing, the elevator shaft would be enough cover for them to not be seen.

Hinowa tightened the sling of the baby around her body as she climbed and Miwa hid the sword in her clothes again. The elevator shaft ended in an old warehouse. The windows were shut down and it was pitch black except for the small lamps scattered on the ceiling, giving a warm yellow light. From the deafening sound above, it must have been a hell of a storm outside.

"Once we cross the bridge outside this warehouse, we'll be free." Hinowa stated as they waded through the crates to get to the door.

"It's raining hard, I'm sure there would be no guards outside," Hinowa said as Miwa tried to lift the bar off the door.

"Will the baby be free?" Miwa asked as she pushed open the door.

"Yes," Hinowa said with conviction, "Anything is better than the eternal night. I wouldn't permit an innocent babe to die without tasting what true freedom is."

"Where do you think you're going, Miss?" a voice leered behind them.

Miwa and Hinowa immediately jumped at the sound and looked behind them. There were more than a dozen guards standing there, swords drawn at them. Miwa immediately stood in front of Hinowa, her body shielding the woman and the baby.

They had almost made it. The door to the outside world was wide open behind them. But if they just run and let the guards give chase, they will surely be caught. Miwa knew something had to give.

"I'll distract them. So Hinowa-san, I want you to run as fast as you can, and don't stop. Not until you're free."

"But what about you?" Hinowa asked.

"I'll be fine. I have a lot to live for. I won't let a bunch of pigs kill me. Trust me! Just run!" Miwa said.

Hinowa nodded and ventured into the storm.

Miwa watched as the rain and the mist swallowed Hinowa's figure. Then she turned back to the guards.

"I won't let you pass." Miwa declared.

The guards laughed at her, "And what's a puny little girl gonna do to stop us?" one of them taunted.

"I'd kill anyone who tries to give chase." She answered.

They laughed at her some more before one of them stepped towards her, "Such punk you've got, girl. How old are you? Thirteen? Fifteen? Once I'm done with you, you're gonna learn what a 'real man' is!" he patted his crotch for emphasis.

His comrades laughed some before, some even giving wolf whistles.

Miwa grinded her teeth, 'Filthy pigs! I'd castrate each and everyone of you!' she shouted in her mind.

Then man then made a grab for her and in one swift move, she chopped off his arm with her short sword. Blood rained on her as the man screamed before he fell to the ground, clutching his bleeding stump. Miwa glared at the surprised expressions on the other men's faces.

"I doubt any of you filthy pigs even know what a 'real man' is." She said in a steely voice, "In case it wasn't clear to you, I said I'd kill anyone who tries to go near this door…or me."

The men lunged at her.

And there it was again. The killing frenzy.

It was a blur stained with blood red. She dodged, she parried. She clashed. She swung. It all seemed to happen too fast. It was like another person was controlling her body. The adrenaline pumped into her veins as she brushed the edges of death more times than she could count. She killed. She almost couldn't feel her own gaping wounds. But when she moved, she never stopped, and she overcame the odds.

When she came to herself, fifteen men were scattered on her feet, the floor awashed with their blood. There were shadows standing by the door and when Miwa looked up from her kneeling position.

And that was how she found herself gazing upon the face of the Lord of Yoshiwara, Housen, for the first time.

* * *

**Slow update. thanks for reading. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Miwa poured sake into Bansai's cup. She was sitting next to him as she served him sake like the courtesan she is. She wasn't used to really serving patrons because she had been paid for a different kind of service entertainment. So she's trying to polish her skills since it might be needed sooner more than her sword abilities.

"When I saw Housen, I was so sure he'd kill me. I gave up. There's no way I could fight him and come out victorious. He's the king of the Yato for a reason. I resigned my life. One look at Hinowa and I knew the child was safe even if she was caught. There was still life in her eyes. And I thought I was going to die there."

Bansai set down his cup, "But you didn't, so what did you do?"

Miwa smirked, "Well, since I'd surely die, I thought I might as well go down fighting to my last breath. Who knows, a miracle might happen, so I just threw caution to the wind and attacked Housen."

* * *

He held her tightly by the neck as she struggled to loosen his grip. She kicked and punched, getting his clothes and face wet and muddy. But he wasn't fazed even a bit. His grip tightened even more and he looked at her face indifferently. She bit and spit and kicked him to no avail.

But she never screamed and she never begged. She was determined to keep up the fight. She'll never shame herself by begging for her life from her enemies. She'll go down with dignity for that was what samurais ought to do. Even if it was hopeless, she'd keep struggling until the very end.

"Interesting. It seems there is another one," Housen dropped her and she crumpled on the ground, trying to regain her breath, "What's your name, girl?"

"Miwa," she sputtered after he prodded her with some light kicks.

She was going in and out of consciousness as she was carried by one of Housen's servants. She could see Hinowa trailing after her with a worried look on her face. There were bruises on her neck in the shape of Housen's fingers. But she was alive. They were both alive. And, someday, surely, they'd make it out again.

"Hinowa-san?" she called weakly.

Hinowa perked up at the sound of her voice.

"Is he free?" she asked.

And despite them heading back to their cage, Miwa thought she'd never seen Hinowa smile as brightly as she did that rainy day.

* * *

"I was taken to Housen's palace with Hinowa. We were taken to this dark room and chained facing the wall. They ripped the clothes off my back and whipped me. How many times, I can't remember anymore. All I knew is the pain in my back, like the flesh was being ripped from my very bones. I screamed myself hoarse that night. And Hinowa…they slashed her tendons. They took away her ability to even walk. My punishment was nothing compared to hers. We were unchained and left in that dark room with no food and treatment for two days."

"Just when I thought we were dying, we were taken out and treated. That's how we lived for the next month. He'd beat us to an inch of our lives and then save us, only to do it again. That man was ruthless. And he came so close to breaking me but Hinowa, she was unbreakable. She endured it all. She said she understood Housen most of all, and that she can't afford to lose to him."

Miwa poured him another cup of sake, "Finding a use for me was accidental. Six months after he confined us to his palace, Housen entertained a wealthy amanto in the palace. The amanto had brought his samurai slave, bragging about how he bought him from a slave market in some planet. The man was a captured deserter and was said to be legendary. The Amanto wanted to test his purchase so he asked if Housen can spare a few guards. Housen sent for me instead."

Miwa poured herself a cup of sake and drained it, "When I saw who it was, I was surprised. It was the same man who brought me to Yoshiwara. The leader of those men, and in his hands was my father's sword. I almost laughed at the irony."

"That man…after I defeated him, he forced me to kill him, actually begged for me to do it. And I was filled with so much hatred for him. For taking me to Yoshiwara, for forcing me to be alone, for taking me away from my promise. I took my father's sword and sliced his head off."

Miwa gazed out the window, "I didn't realize I was screaming and crying. And Housen found it, the way to break me. It didn't help that the amanto found it so amusing to see me kill that soon I got customers paying for me to kill for their entertainment. Housen watched as I killed beasts, men and amanto. It broke me everytime but I learned to stand above it eventually. I overcame. Ours was a dangerous game and the prize was my life. He trapped me in a game where losing means death. I survived. It made me stronger. He never managed to break me completely."

"I endured another one and a half years of Housen treating me like a dog. Taking me out of the dark room when he needed me and putting me back when he's done with me. Before I noticed it, he had made me the second most expensive courtesan in Yoshiwara, next to Hinowa. He tricked me. He was tightening the bonds around me while I was busy just staying alive. He made us the most recognizable faces in Yoshiwara so we can't escape all the more. Even back alley rats would watch our every move. He allowed me to move outside the palace because he knew there's no way I could escape without him knowing. And the next time I escape, I knew he'd come and finish the deed. We both knew that unless Housen is dead, there would be no freedom for me."

"I was eighteen years old when the Joui war ended and I was still in Yoshiwara. I used my status to gather information about my brother and the others. It seemed the three of them came out alive but not some of our other classmates. There was no news of their whereabouts, but it was believed that they were scattered. For some reason, my brother evaded identification and was under the name 'Shiroyasha'. Shinsuke and Zura, however, had wanted posters circulating."

Bansai glanced at the framed wanted poster sitting on her table. He smirked.

"And well, with Housen going to kill me if I escaped and Shinsuke god knows where, I decided it was better to stay put in Yoshiwara. If Shinsuke is a wanted person, it's impossible that he'd never make his way to Yoshiwara one day. What with the government holding secret meetings there and all, I highly doubted Joui wouldn't have found Yoshiwara's influence useful."

"So you just waited for him, for anyone to come for you? That's quite a defeatist attitude, if I may say so."

Miwa smiled sadly, "That's not it at all. Around that time, I met a certain person. My meeting with her completely erased any intention of leaving Yoshiwara by myself. She was someone I swore to protect, just like Tsukuyo did to Hinowa. Compared to her, Shinsuke would have to wait."

She continued, "Lady Suzuran was a retired courtesan staying on as a trainer. Normally, old courtesans with no customers would have been killed already but everyone seemed to hold her in high esteem. She was Hinowa's counterpart back in her youth. For the courtesans, she was legendary. Her patron was no less than the Shogun before the amanto came. One day, while I was walking around town, she had me called up to her room."

* * *

Miwa fidgeted nervously in her seat as she waited for Lady Suzuran to arrive. She'd heard the rumors. The woman was an unparalleled beauty, a living legend. What could such a formidable woman want with her? Maybe to shame her for calling herself a courtesan when all she had been doing was killing people? She hadn't even served a single person food or sake or played her shamisen. She heard the woman took great pride in her profession.

"Lady Suzuran has arrived!" two girls announced as they slid open the door.

Miwa was sweating buckets when the shouji doors fell on her head, pushing her flat on the floor. Her nose bled and she was positive that there was a large bump in her head.

"H-Hello!"

Miwa crawled from under the door and gazed at the woman. She was stoned. She didn't expect the woman to be that old. The people were talking about her as if it was yesterday! The old woman was attached to an IV drip and looked like she'd drop dead in a minute.

"S-suzuran-sama?!" Miwa blurted out.

The old woman turned her face towards her, "I-it's n-nice to meet you! I'm-I'm-huh? Who am I?"

"Suzuran-sama!" Miwa answered.

"I'm Suzuran! Hello!"

Then the old woman started seizing and Miwa fell into a panic. A courtesan calmly called for a bed to be brought in and Miwa watched as the old woman plop herself back to it, as if she did it everyday.

"Ahmm…is she alright?" she asked the courtesan.

"Don't worry, that's just how she always is. She's more resilient than you think," the courtesan then left to get food.

Miwa walked towards the bed. Surprisingly, the woman seemed peaceful and well.

"Thank you for taking the time to visit with an old woman like me," Suzuran said in a firm voice, "You're truly kind."

Miwa smiled, "It's nothing at all, Suzuran-sama."

The older woman chuckled weakly, "Showing such concern for a strange old woman," Suzuran plucked a single hair from her head, "Let's make a promise."

The old woman seemed to be reaching for her hand so Miwa brought it closer. The old woman tied the strand around her pinky. "Come see me again at the next full moon. I'll be waiting for the full moon to rise…forever," and then the woman fell asleep.

"Suzuran-sama?" Miwa was confused.

"I see she also made you a promise." The courtesan showed Miwa her own pinky. "She does this to everyone she meets, but that doesn't make her any less serious about it. It's the only thing she'll never forget."

* * *

"That courtesan told me all about Suzuran. About what she used to do for the Shogun and her tragic love for his retainer. The person who will only arrive at the next full moon. I cried for her afterwards. Because I have been waiting for Shinsuke for only a few years and she's been waiting for an entire lifetime. I envy her love and faith. I wished I could love a person as much as she loved hers. It was the most wonderful thing in the world."

* * *

"I've been protecting her for a decade now and I will continue to do so. But someday, someone will come here to harm her and I might not be strong enough to handle them. This is the least Yoshiwara can do for someone who has devoted her whole life to it." The courtesan said.

"You are the one who really invited me here, correct?" Miwa watched as Suzuran breathed evenly in her sleep.

"Yes. I meant for you to become Suzuran-sama's next protector. You are the strongest fighter in Yoshiwara, aside from Lord Housen and Sir Jiraiya. Hinowa has Lord Housen and Tsukuyo to protect her. Lady Suzuran only has me and a few Hyakka. Please, can you do this for her?" the courtesan pleaded.

Miwa didn't answer but she approached the bed, "Suzuran-sama, do you happen to know something about me?" she asked.

Suzuran smiled, "Of course, child. You are just like me."

And Miwa understood, it was a way to keep her alive, too. "But we barely even met and yet…" Miwa wept.

"I've known you all my life. Believe me." Suzuran answered.

And Miwa truly believed her.

* * *

"Our promise was our bond. Suzuran knew about Shinsuke and I knew about Maizo-dono. We both can't meet them in fear of death. And they both can't take us out of Yoshiwara with the Shogun and Lord Housen around. So we'd stay where we are. Suzuran gave me a reason to stay in Yoshiwara without hating myself for giving up trying to escape and I broke all her chains and left only her promise to her lover as the only reason she's in Yoshiwara. Our promise kept us both alive. It enabled us to endure and wait. She really did know me. She had known waiting all her life. Only she could keep me sane in all of Yoshiwara so I stayed by her side."

* * *

"So I guess that's everything that has happened to me. That was six years ago. Half a year ago, Housen was killed by my brother and the ceiling was opened."

Bansai raised an eyebrow, "You had plenty of chance to see your brother. Why didn't you?"

"I was locked up the whole time my brother was fighting Housen, and they only let me out when they were looking for Housen's prisoners. Hinowa suddenly retired in order to take care of Seita and I was left to take the mantle of attracting people to come to Yoshiwara. There was a lot of deficit we had to make up for so I was always busy with my job and protecting Suzuran. Housen is also no longer there to keep the criminals at bay. But I know all of those are just excuses. I'm ashamed of what I have become, of breaking my promise to my brother. When I look at him from afar, I see how lonely and sad he is. I can't muster up the courage to face him yet."

"Then why did you just up and follow Shinsuke that easily?"

"Suzuran died a week before Lord Kamui arrived from space. She was able to meet with her lover. So now it's my turn. I'm free to meet with Shinsuke. But meeting him at that party was an accident. I didn't know he'd ally himself with Lord Kamui. I chose to follow Shinsuke because my brother isn't in any real danger. If he stays where he is, I'd still find him there when this is over. Shinsuke, however, I can't let him out of my sight. Not this time. I'd settle this once and for all."

"I see. So that's your purpose for being here. I'm flattered you trust me so much that you'd think I won't have cause to kill you after hearing all that. If anything, I think you're a threat." Bansai admitted.

Miwa just shrugged, "I doubt telling you my real motives would result in my death. You know Shinsuke better than I do now. And we both know you are so sure that he won't be swayed by my presence. For your information, I'm not here to stop Shinsuke. I don't plan to get in his way. He can burn this country down if that's what he wants. All I care about is the matter between us. I'd even help him achieve his goal if that's the price I have to pay. Anything to quell the unrest in my soul he made a decade ago."

Bansai sighed and stood up to leave, "Well, thank you for the nice story. I'd like to hear more next time, if I may."

Miwa looked at the clock, "I told you it's a long story. But I can tell you more next time." She smiled as she cleared the bowls and plates and carried the tray, "Help me drop these off at the kitchen, will you?"

Bansai nodded and carried his own tray. As they trudged down the darkened hallway, they heard the sound of shamisen playing and as they passed by Shinsuke's room, they could tell the man must be sitting on his window sill playing his shamisen.

Miwa started giggling as soon as they turned a corner. Bansai raised an eyebrow. Miwa had a broad grin on her face, "I just remembered something funny."

Bansai was curious, "It's something embarrassing about Shinsuke, isn't it?"

Miwa giggled again, "Yes, but let's save it for another time, shall we?"

* * *

Takasugi Shinsuke took another swig of sake. Earlier that evening, he was walking to his room when he heard Miwa and Bansai's voices inside her room. He was about to ignore them when he heard her casually mention his name somewhere in there. She had been talking about the day in the mountain when the stupid wig dragged them out to look for a bear.

Unconsciously, he found himself leaning against the opposite wall, pipe in hand, as he listened to her tell her stories about her life. He refused to admit he was curious to hear about what really happened to her. He glared at anyone who dared give him away, like Matako, some subordinates and the servant who brings food inside.

And it took everything to just walk away when she finished her tale.

He managed to drag himself to his room, sit down, and just drink some warm sake as he tried to clear his thoughts of her.

But the memories kept surfacing and he allowed himself to remember it for the last time.

Back then, he never did know what to say.

* * *

He always did wonder about his sensei's habit of taking angry little creatures and taming them down.

Admittedly, he himself was one of them. As the only son of a wealthy samurai vassal, he was pretty much entitled to glory and fortune, and lo, did he think too highly of himself. That was, until he was sent to the temple school and was treated like a normal kid.

Looking back, he was ashamed of how bratty he was for most of his childhood. But he had Shouyo-sensei to teach him, there's no other way he'd grow into a finer man.

So maybe he was a little jealous when Sensei took in Gintoki. But Gintoki was a sullen child, and he was always asleep. And he'd taken to hanging out with the stupid wig. There went any friendship they could possibly have. He hated the stupid wig's guts.

But since he liked being close to sensei, he tended to stay longer at the school along with Zura and Gintoki. The precious extra time with sensei was worth being mistaken as friends with the two bastards.

And he thought that was it, until sensei came back with another child in tow who looked exactly like him. After a few embarrassing moments, it turned out she was his orphaned niece.

She was different than Gintoki. She took school seriously and much to his surprise, also took kendo along with all the boys. While their female classmates ran home after school to play with their dolls and learn god-knows-what, she picks up a bamboo sword and swings it around.

Like Gintoki, she had a real sword she carried with her at all times but never used. It was her father's only memento, sensei told them.

But she did learn how to cook well after finding out that Shouyo-sensei, teacher extraordinaire, can only make miso soup and sweetened tamagoyaki. It took her two weeks to complain since she came there. Apparently, she thought their food menu was a weekly schedule thing.

Since the four of them tended to stay behind longer than anyone, they were always together.

Zura had taken to treating her like his own little sister and she seemed quite pleased with that most of the time except when she's beating him down for his stupid comments.

It was obvious that she enjoyed Gintoki's attention most of all. Maybe because they were both adopted and was told to consider each other as siblings. Gintoki never really said much but easily brings a smile to her face, whether he's giving her fruits from trees the boys had climbed or correcting her stance in kendo. She took to calling him 'nii-chan' whether in school or it's just them.

And then there's him. She never really talked much to him or at all for that matter. She had taken to looking at him warily and would just smile at a corner while he's arguing with Gintoki and Zura. Zura once said that she must hate him, but really, he just didn't know how to treat her. He doesn't even know if he wants to be that close to her, like a brother.

He did decide he wanted to get closer to her when she beat Zura at practice. She moved fast and her strikes were no less as forceful as a boy's. He was there when after she won, she smiled so beautifully that every boy in the dojo gaped at her. He never really gave much thought to the fact that she was a girl and that she could in fact be considered as 'beautiful'. But she was, and he found himself more confused than ever.

Since then, dealing with her started to get exhausting.

She was strong and trying to get stronger. He thought she probably won't appreciate him treating her like she's a delicate being, like he does his sisters. She wanted to be an equal. So he treated her thus, and boy, did it backfire quickly on him.

She hated him more than ever when he called her names he normally used on Zura, or tried to look down on her, much like he does again, to Zura. Zura had never minded, but she…she…

She technically blows up like a volcano.

And worst of all, sometimes she ends up crying.

He quickly realized he didn't like her tears.

But he was stupid, back then. And he still kept saying the wrong things.

She started avoiding him, but technically, that's impossible, since they stay behind to practice more than anyone else.

So he continued to infuriate her and she continued to beat him down.

He did think he could make amends, though…

It was the town festival and girls are usually given new kimono for the event. His sisters all had new ones every year so he was used to complimenting them. They did afford the best kimonos in town.

He was walking down the street to buy some candy when he saw her standing outside the kimono shop, looking ahead at a girl and her father who had given her a new kimono.

Thinking that it was his chance to make peace with her, he approached her.

"Oh? You want one? That thing doesn't suit you," he opened and before he could continue what he was saying, she turned to him with a glare and trembling lips before she ran away crying.

The words_ 'My sisters always have the most beautiful kimonos, I'm sure I could get them to lend you one of their old ones,'_ died on the tip of his tongue.

Shinsuke kicked himself mentally, 'What the hell? Did I use the wrong tone?' How does he manage to screw up his relationship with Miwa without even trying?'

But anyway, if anything, he knows how to make amends. And this was one he could still save. So he ran home and asked his sisters for their old kimonos. After explaining that he's planning to let Miwa borrow it, his sisters were all thrilled to give him their old ones that would probably be her size, and he ignored their comments about his young love. It's all they ever obsess about anyway.

Having to praise them as they paraded around him in their new kimonos growing up, he easily picked out the most beautiful one, a kimono of his oldest sister's. They wrapped it for him, complete with some accessories that would 'make Miwa-chan prettier for our little brother.'

He took the parcel and by the time he arrived at Sensei's house, it was already dark.

He was about to enter the house when he paused, suddenly aware of what he's doing. He was suddenly embarrassed and found it hard to just give it to her and apologize.

He was pacing at the top of the stairs trying to gather his courage when Gintoki arrived with Zura.

"What are you doing out here?" Zura asked.

"Shut up, Zura! I'm trying to concentrate!" Shinsuke said and went back to pacing.

"Are you trying to poop? In front of Sensei's house?" Zura continued.

"Like hell I am! Stop with your poop jokes, it's never funny!" Shinsuke yelled back.

And then a girly squeal erupted from the house, "Shouyo-sensei, it's beautiful!" they heard Miwa exclaim.

Shinsuke was confused, "What's that about?"

"Sensei must have showed her the kimono we all bought for her this afternoon. She did seem pretty upset earlier so we thought this would cheer her up. What's that you're holding?" Zura asked.

Shinsuke was just so angry at himself that he just ran away.

That night, he thought he'd just go up and apologize directly to Miwa the next day. He tried to ignore his sisters laughing about their heartbroken little brother.

The next day, he was stunned. Miwa was really beautiful in her new kimono. He was planning to complement her when he started thinking that the kimono he brought for her would have been more beautiful on her.

So what came out of his mouth was, "Seriously, why do you bother Sensei with such things?" and before he knew it, she was on him, scratching and punching. Some men had to pry her off him when he was bleeding from a burst lip.

He couldn't even get in a word of what he was supposed to tell her. _'You could have depended on me, even just this once…'_

Well, his mother and sisters were furious but then he explained to them what was really happening, how he just wanted to be friends, but ends up saying the wrong things.

And man, did they all suddenly turn teary-eyed at him and his father even patted him on the back, saying, "Don't worry, son. You'll learn eventually. Just enjoy your youth as much as you can."

"He'll be a big man before we know it. Oh, how time sure flew," one of his sisters quipped.

He was more confused and he realized he had a crazy family.

When Sensei came to apologize later that evening, his family welcomed him with so much enthusiasm that left even Shouyo confused.

It was reminiscent of how they treated the parents of his oldest sister's fiancé.

Shinsuke's eyes widened.

Did they think he was in love with Miwa?!

If he ever thought it was awkward before, it was borderline on suffocating now. Miwa was more apprehensive towards him since the festival. She took offense in every little thing he did. Well, he did make her cry a few more times from his insensitive remarks. Why can't he just shut up? Can't he just take her retorts lying down? He's just making their relationship worse. Why can't he be closer to her, like how Gintoki and Zura was. They all get along swimmingly like it was the most natural thing in the world but when he's added to the mix, it explodes. And his mother and sisters won't stop pestering him about his love for Miwa. He's not in love with her! He just wants to be friends, _**close**_ friends, godammit!

His day came though. Sooner than he thought.

They were looking for Zura's pet, which, in his opinion, should never ever be found, and Miwa accidentally sprained her ankle when they fell into a pit.

Well, it was understandable that he's worried about her because no matter what kind of strained relationship they have at the moment, they were still growing up together. She totally didn't have to look like he'd insult her in this situation. He does care, dammit!

He sat vigilant as Miwa slept beside him. He swatted the mosquitoes that attempted to bite her and that stupid lizard that almost crawled inside her clothes. He also kept an eye out for snakes, who knows if there's one lurking in the crevices.

He made sure he was as comfortable as possible, she did need rest after being in the mountain since that morning and it was night already.

He wished for help to come soon. Miwa's ankle was swelling and the bruises in her normally flawless skin was showing. But there she was, sleeping soundly beside him, unconsciously holding onto the side of his clothes. And he stared at her peaceful face. She trusts him. Despite all their fights, she trusted him to protect her.

Takasugi smiled and sighed to himself.

"She's right. I'm a horrible person. I'm in love with her and yet I always make her cry,"

So starting that day, Takasugi Shinsuke changed for Igarashi Miwa.

* * *

**hope you enjoyed it. :)**


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